Illinois law prefers joint custody arrangements, and thus encourages parents to work together. Parents who communicate regularly and make joint decisions are thought to be acting in the best interests of the child.
But joint custody may not work for everyone. Here are some factors to keep in mind:
Joint custody means the ability to come up with a joint parenting agreement. The agreement should spell out each parent’s rights and responsibilities, how decisions will be made and a procedure for changes or disagreements. Generally joint custody involves making decisions about your child with the other parent. Either one of you may have residential custody, meaning your child’s primary residence. For some families, residential custody can be shared as well.
The three key decision-making areas where spouses should be able to reach agreement are: 1) medical, 2) educational and 3) religious. Perhaps your spouse is a Christian Scientist, who does not believe in seeking medical practice. You may feel that’s fine for your spouse, but not your kids. Perhaps you think your children should be home schooled, while your spouse wants them in a military academy. Or you wanted to raise your children as Catholics, while your spouse became a Buddhist. All these situations can prove trying when parents are deciding how best to raise children.
Even if you disagree on one or more of these areas, however, you might still share custody. It is important that your attorney and your spouse’s attorney have a good working relationship. You should also be able to work well with a mediator. In that way, the attorneys can draft a custody arrangement that fits your families’ individual needs, rather than trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Perhaps either you or the other parent can have primary decision making on one or more of the key areas, but share joint custody on everything else.
Another factor to consider is the temperament of the parents. You cannot jointly parent with someone who abuses you or your children. You cannot jointly parent with a spouse whose judgment is affected by mental health issues or drug addiction. You cannot jointly parent with a spouse who has certain personality disorders, for example, one who refuses to compromise on even the most minor issues.
To make joint parenting successful, both you and your spouse must be able to keep your child’s best interests uppermost in mind. Can you and your spouse rationally discuss your child’s welfare and arrive at sensible decisions? If you’ve vowed never to speak to each other, joint custody is not right for you. But it does help to realize that there are many ways to communicate, such as by text, email or phone, and to find the way that works best for you.
If you have questions about this or another domestic relations matter, please contact Zachary W. Williams at 1-312-981-0851 or email to: zwwlawyer@gmail.com
Source: http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt+VI&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8300000&SeqEnd=10000000
